


within this circle fairly cast

by octoberwithoutyou



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Backstory, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 20:24:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9564914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octoberwithoutyou/pseuds/octoberwithoutyou
Summary: Bodhi didn’t consider himself a protective person. He considered it was just something natural. When you had so little, you wanted that little to be safe. There was so much he had lost, so much he could lose… He thought of his planet, of his mother, both probably gone now. He thought of his ship, that was probably someone else’s now, and of his goggles, lost on Scarif. And now, he thought of Baze, Chirrut and Jyn. He thought of Cassian.





	

Bodhi had never considered himself the protective type.

 

When he was a kid, he remembered he had toy ship. His mother had saved for a year or so until she had enough to buy him one. He remembered they lived happily, only with the basics to survive, but toys were still something uncommon. So when his mother gave him the small toy ship, she told him to take good care of it, that it was a present for being so good.

(Thinking back, Bodhi didn’t think he had been good. While he saw other kids helping their parents on their jobs, Bodhi’s mother didn’t allow him to. She only let him help around in the house with the chores. She hadn’t let him use the knives when he was helping her cook.)

At first, Bodhi was terrified. He had been given what he thought at that time was the most precious gift of all. He was too scared to play with it, or even touch it, because he didn’t want to break it. He didn’t let other kids even see it. He hid his ship on his closet, on the shelf he wasn’t even able to reach. When his mother asked him why he had done that, he simply said he was too busy to play with it.

(The ship gathered dust over the years, and Bodhi only held it again the day he left the house, when he enlisted in the Empire. His mother, tears threatening to fall but never allowing them to, handed it to him. “To remind you of home.”

When he arrived to the base, the ship was the first thing they took from him. He never saw it again).

 

Enlisting in the Empire had been a choice. It was something that kept him up sometimes. He had chosen that, he had chosen helping them. In a way, he had chosen taking part of the destruction and death and misery the Empire spread throughout the galaxy.

But then, another voice (a voice that, over the years, sounded more and more like Cassian’s) reminded him that he had done it for a reason. 

A group of recruiters had visited the village. The didn’t need any kind of advertisement, or publicity. When they arrived, everyone knew who they were, and what they wanted. 

One day, as Bodhi walked across the market, he saw two of them approaching him. “Hey, kid. Do you have a second?”

He couldn’t answer no. So he left the bags filled with groceries with one of the peddlers closest to him, a friend of his mother. They exchanged glances, since they couldn’t say what they wanted to say in front of the Empire recruiters. In a second, Bodhi knew the peddler would inform his mother what had happened, in case he returned later than expected, or… Or if he didn’t return at all.

The two men started walking off, and Bodhi didn't have other choice but to follow them, feeling awkward when he compared their strutting to his own slumping posture. He straightened his back.

“How old are you? You look young.”

“15 standard years, sir. 16 in two months.” The two men looked at each other. Bodhi bit his tongue so he wouldn’t ask where they were going, or why. 

They took Bodhi to a tent just outside the market. They told Bodhi to sit, and started talking. They were looking for kids his age to fill in some job positions. 

“I-I’ve heard of that before. I’m just not interested at the moment, I’m-”

“Your name is Bodhi Rook, isn’t it?” Bodhi nodded once, frowning slightly. How did they know…? “We’ve heard you wanted to be a pilot.”

“Well… That’s just… It’s just a childhood dream, sir, I really don’t think I-”

“With the right training, we can make it happen.” They told Bodhi all about becoming a starfighter, owning a ship, flying across the universe… Part of Bodhi felt like a kid again, amazed by their words. But still…

“I-I should probably speak to my mum first, but thank you for the offer.” He answered, standing up. Outside the tent is was getting dark. His mother was going to kill him.

“Of course.” One of the recruiters said with a smile that was more of a grimace. “We understand, you’re an obedient kid. They don’t make ‘em like that anymore. You were buyin’ groceries, right?” Bodhi nodded silently, eyes darting around the room and focusing on the exit. He really had to leave. “You’re a good kid. But you need to start thinking on stop being a kid, and begin being a man. We are at war, and soon you’ll need to pick a side. Choose us, and you’ll keep your village safe. Keep your mum safe. Soon you’ll have to make your own decisions, and you will have to make them without your mother’s help. Think about it.” 

They let him go after that, and Bodhi, feeling as if he wasn’t sure what had happened exactly, picked up the groceries and went home. He didn’t tell his mother what they had told him.

After his conversation with the Empire recruiters, Bodhi started noticing some things. He saw more unknown people roaming the streets, faces hidden. The atmosphere was tense now. Some of his neighbours, the ones he knew his entire life, moved without even saying goodbye. He started noticing the fine lines and dry skin on her mother’s face. It was harder to make her smile.

A week later, he went back to the recruiters’ tent. “You’ll keep my mum safe?” He asked the man on the entrance. He smiled like the last time Bodhi had spoken to him, a grimace that looked so out of place when you took in his impeccable clothing (even in a dusty planet like that) and his cold eyes.

“You’ve made your decision, then?”

Bodhi nodded. Soon after that, he was saying goodbye to his mother and flying away from his planet. He would return to it, nor he would see his mother again.

When times got hard, Bodhi remembered the face of her mother, the smiles of his neighbours, the dry wind that tangled his hair and carried dust everywhere. He was protecting them, he thought then, trying not to cry. They were probably okay, he continued, furiously rubbing his eyes. He’d made the right decision, he thought, but didn’t believe on those words anymore, and let the tears fall.

 

In the Empire, Bodhi had few things. He had one flying suit, one training suit, a pair of goggles, a medikit and a ship. He learned to really appreciate them.

Sometimes, when he couldn’t sleep, he would fidget with his goggles, disarranging the goggle straps and arranging them again. He had the habit of misplace things, and he was so afraid of losing them that he figured he would keep them close to him. It was the only thing he felt was truly his.

Aside from that, the only other thing he cared about in his time there was his ship. He enjoyed spending hours fixing and performing maintenance on it, the same way he loved flying. Bodhi usually spent his free time cleaning it or making up some sort of malfunction he had to look at so he could be there, instead of on the base. 

It was the closest thing to a home he had. He didn’t mind lying on the cold metal, taking a breath in between missions. He could close his eyes, and pretend he wasn’t just a cargo pilot, that he wasn’t part of Empire, that he was brave enough to run away. He pretended he was someone else, just for a moment. As soon as he stepped out, he tried to forget about that. It would never happen, after all.

 

It took Bodhi a few weeks to get used to the fact that he was alive, and mostly well, after Scarif. He had a broken arm, and he couldn’t hear partially from both ears due to the explosion, but he was alive. He was alive. He repeated that sentence over and over again, until he burst into laughter. 

The first thing he had wanted to know was if they had made it. If he had done enough. He didn’t what he would do if he had survived to learn all their effort was futile. The relief he had felt when he was told they got the plans was immense, almost overwhelming. Later, the nurse told him he had drifted back to sleep after that, a small smile on his face.

The second and last thing he had wanted to know was if the others had survived. He had beared himself to hear the worst (he had lost many fellow pilots that, even if they weren’t friends, had never been bad to Bodhi, and he had mourned them since he doubted someone else would), but the nurse only smiled at him and said, vocalizing the words to make sure Bodhi understood: “Why don’t you ask them yourself?”

 

Bodhi visited everyone on their medbay rooms. First was Jyn (They were mostly quiet. The silence was a mourning one, and Bodhi knew exactly who they were both thinking of), then Baze and Chirrut (They made him laugh a lot, speaking louder than usual so Bodhi could hear. “Come back later. I’m tired of beating this guy at Holochess. You look like a good contendant.” Chirrut said before he left. “To this point, I don’t know if I’m letting him win or if I’m really that bad.” Baze confessed as he walked Bodhi out). 

He visited Cassian last. 

“Pilot!” He said when Bodhi walked in. He had said it with such fondness and pleasant surprise Bodhi couldn’t help but smile.

“That’s me. They let me out of my room, so I wanted to visit.” 

“Sit down.” Cassian patted the place next to him on the bed. The rooms on the Medcenter were quite small, and didn’t have any chairs. Bodhi sat down facing Cassian. “You look good.”

“Thanks. You…” His eyes unconsciously went to Cassian’s lower half, covered by a blanket. He had heard some bits of conversation between nurses, but he still couldn’t believe. He had been hoping they were only gossip. He realised what he was doing and quickly looked back up. “You’re alive.”

“And my leg is missing. You can say it, Bodhi.” He said in a calm, collected way that was too artificial for Bodhi. 

“I’m just… I’m happy you’re alive.” He said. Cassian seemed surprised by his answer. “I lost something too. Kind of. But we’re here. And we made it, thanks to you. That’s all I have to say.”

Bodhi saw Cassian swallow thickly, as if he had a knot in his throat. He was going to apologize (maybe he was speaking too loudly) when Cassian spoke up. “There were a few who didn’t make it. Kay… Kaytoo didn’t make it.”

He felt bad when he had to ask Cassian to repeat himself. The expression told him enough. “I...I didn’t know that.” 

“It’s fine.” He cleared his throat. “I have his personality on a holostick. I just have to look for parts.” A nurse knocked on the door, startling both of them. “I have physical therapy now. You...you should go now.” 

Cassian clearly didn’t want him around during therapy, and that was okay. “Can… can I visit you on another day?” He asked. Cassian’s posture relaxed a little, and even managed a little smile. “Sure, Bodhi. I might even visit you and the others. I just have to get used to...this.”

Bodhi left Cassian’s room feeling as hopeless as Cassian looked. He had liked the droid. There had to be a way to help, somehow.

 

As the days passed, Bodhi came up with a plan. Cassian had told him he kept parts of Kaytoo on a warehouse on the far side of the base, almost covered by the jungle. He began thinking about said plan when he wasn’t reading, in checkups, and visiting the others, but mostly Cassian. He didn’t know why he had felt drawn to him, to his raspy, soothing voice, his sporadic but genuine smiles, and his even more uncommon bouts of laughter. 

He told Cassian about his mother, about his village and his toy ship. Cassian told him about his parents and about the time he reprogrammed Kaytoo, and didn’t get mad when Bodhi asked him to repeat himself. He talked a lot about the droid, more than about his parents. It hit Bodhi than maybe, he knew the droid longer than he knew them. 

 

Even though everyone was recovering quickly, Cassian didn’t get out of the room much. The Alliance had given all people involved in Rogue One a mandatory time to rest, but Bodhi was worried. “It’s nothing physical.” A nurse told him when he expressed his concern. “It's more...something of the mind. He and the droid were pretty close.”

“I’m working on it.” Bodhi said. His arm was still on a cast, but he had borrowed a lot of holobooks on robotics from the archives. “But, he could build it himself if he wanted. I don’t understand.” 

The nurse just smiled sadly at him.

(Bodhi asked Cassian that days later, once he had build up enough courage. “It’s ridiculous, I know.” He responded. “I can’t bring myself to do it. Not now. I don’t know what’s going to happen when I program him again. I don’t… I don’t know how to explain.”

“It’s okay.” Bodhi said. “I mean, it’s not okay, but you’re feeling it, so it’s… okay. You need time. Does that make sense?”

Cassian gave him one of his tiny smiles. It left Bodhi a little breathless. “Makes perfect sense.”)

 

One day, Cassian let Bodhi stay during physical therapy. After that, he helped the nurse with the exercises, and Cassian’s first trip to the cafeteria had been with Bodhi’s arm around the small of his back. Bodhi convinced him to walk around the base at least once a day, and most of the times he joined him.

In the same way, Cassian was there, along with Chirrut and Baze, when Bodhi was given a hearing aid. They were more excited about it than him, who was a bit wary. He’d never seen one before, and he doubted they were free to any defector that just happened to need it.

(“It was a donation by an anonymous person.” Cassian told him months later. Bodhi learned that anonymous person was Cassian, who had scraped every credit he had to get him the device.)

 

A month later, when his arm was mostly healed and he had read enough to know how to assemble basic droids, Bodhi considered he was ready for his part of the plan. 

“-And I don’t really know about robotics, but… I want it to be good for Cassian.” He was telling Chirrut and Baze later. “Since he’s doing so much progress, and...What?” He stopped himself when he saw matching smiles in the two of them.

“Nothing.” Baze said, not making a good effort at hiding his lie. 

“Nothing at all.” Chirrut agreed, standing up. “I think it’s a good plan.” 

“I just don’t want to force him. Maybe he’s not ready yet.”

“Captain Andor is one to repress what he feels. He may never be ready, if he is left alone to face whatever prison he has built around him.”

“He just needs someone to talk to.” Bodhi fidgeted with the straps of his goggles. He felt as if he was missing the point, somehow. He looked up to see matching expression of what Bodhi would describe as fond annoyance. It was weird how often they wore the same expression. He concentrated hard. “You mean me?”

“Why not? He’s the only one who really talks to you.”

That made sense. “Thank you.” He told them. He left a little later after that. He had to think of what to say.

“Those two really are something.” Baze commented once they were alone. 

Chirrut nodded, a small smile on his face. “I’ve never seen two people who complemented each other more.”

“Should I be offended?” He joked. Chirrut smacked his arm with his staff playfully.

“Besides us.”

 

Bodhi didn’t consider himself a protective person. He considered it was just something natural. When you had so little, you wanted that little to be safe. There was so much he had lost, so much he could lose… He thought of his planet, of his mother, both probably gone now. He thought of his ship, that was probably someone else’s now, and of his goggles, lost on Scarif. And now, he thought of Baze, Chirrut and Jyn. He thought of Cassian.

Bodhi stood at the door of Cassian’s bunk for a moment. He cared about Cassian, and he hoped he was doing the right thing.

“Bodhi, come on in.” Cassian said when Bodhi knocked.

“Actually, can we take a walk?”

 

Bodhi knew he couldn’t keep things a surprise for long. Cassian must have known the way they were going by now, even if he didn’t comment on it. When they were closer to the warehouse, Bodhi cleared his throat, wiping his sweaty hands on his pants. 

“We’re here,” He started. “because I want to help you.”

“Help me?” Cassian repeated, glancing at the warehouse in the distance and then back at Bodhi. “With Kaytoo? Bodhi, I don’t think…”

“I don’t know if you are taking your time or if you are avoiding this.” He stood in front of Cassian, holding his gaze, and basically acting as firm on his decision as he wanted to feel. “You haven’t lost him, Cassian. You still have his personality. We can do it together. I-I read some things, and- ”

“You have?” Cassian asked, looking at Bodhi as if he had said something weird.

“Yeah, of course. I… I care about you, Cassian. And I know you miss him. Maybe it’s time you stop grieving.”

Cassian’s stare was so intense Bodhi had to look away. “Bodhi, I- I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just- let’s start building him today. If you don’t want to continue, we won’t.”

 

At first, Cassian and Bodhi went to the warehouse twice a week. Bodhi had thought Cassian wouldn’t insist, but was pleasantly surprised to see Cassian waiting for him on the way to the warehouse. As the weeks went on, they went to the warehouse every day. Bodhi let Cassian do most of the work, so he mostly kept him company. He liked to watch Cassian work. With his brow furrowed in concentration and agile hands working over the parts as if he had done it thousands of times before, Bodhi felt Cassian was close to peace of mind. In one month, the robot was finished. 

“You did it!” Bodhi smiled as Cassian assembled the last part.

“You’ve helped. I… I never thanked you for what you said. You were right.”

“Well, you’ll have to thank Mr. Imwe-”

Behind them, a robotic voice interrupted Bodhi. “Cassian! Did you turn me off again? I- Why are we here?”

Barely suppressing a smile, Cassian turned to an annoyed Kaytoo and did his best to explain in few words. Later that day, they all gathered for dinner (“In my honor? That’s ridiculous, Cassian. I don’t eat.”). Bodhi didn’t got involved in all of the conversations happening (mostly a group retelling of everything that had happened after Kaytoo died), and just watched them with a smile on his face. 

He saw Baze and Chirrut, who appeared to hold hands under the table, snickering at the comment Kaytoo had made, and how Jyn responded with a playful comeback. He saw Cassian meeting his eyes and smiling, the way that left Bodhi a little breathless. And, okay, in certain cases, with certain people, he was a protective person.

**Author's Note:**

> title from madelyn alt's a charmed death, "Protect me and mine within this circle fairly cast."  
> thank you for reading, remember im cahssian in tumblr!


End file.
